Download The Normal Bar: The Surprising Secrets of Happy Couples and What They Reveal About Creating a New Normal in Your Relationship, by Chrisanna Northrup James Witte
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The Normal Bar: The Surprising Secrets of Happy Couples and What They Reveal About Creating a New Normal in Your Relationship, by Chrisanna Northrup James Witte
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Review
"Masters and Johnson, it's time to move over. The Normal Bar mixes together sex, savvy insights and science, making you laugh while you learn. Bet you haven't done that in a while."--Nancy L. Snyderman, MD, NBC News Chief Medical Editor “Money? Sex? Deep dark secrets? If you wonder how your relationship compares with the rest of the world, The Normal Bar offers you a comprehensive heads up -- most important, it suggests that growing healthier and happier may not be mission impossible.”--Gina Ogden, PhD, LMFT, author of The Return of Desire, The Heart & Soul of Sex, and Women Who Love Sex “The Normal Bar is an innovative, easy to read book filled with novel findings about relationships and helpful suggestions on making relationships better. I will use the important findings from The Normal Bar in my classes, in my papers and in my clinical work.”--Howard J. Markman, Ph.D., author of Fighting for Your Marriage “The Normal Bar is more than a collection of surprising information--it’s one of the most insightful guides to building happier, healthier relationships that I’ve ever read. I was encouraged and comforted by the authors' findings. Simply terrific.”– Marci Shimoff, New York Times bestselling author of Happy for No Reason and coauthor of Chicken Soup for the Woman’s Soul "Facts trump opinions every time, and there are an amazing number of surprising facts in this book. Thanks to the authors’ survey—which takes a quantum leap beyond any relationship survey ever undertaken—The Normal Bar marks a turning point in relationship advice books. In my 30 years as a professional student of romantic relationships, this is the only book that's actually taught me something new."--Greg Godek, author of the national bestseller 1001 Ways to be Romantic “This outstanding book draws on thousands of surveys to find out what makes couples happy. Besides being entertaining and edifying, The Normal Bar can actually help most couples improve their relationships.”--Barbara Reskin, Past President of the American Sociological Association “A fascinating international compendium on women, men, sex and love that -- thank goodness -- busts some entrenched myths about men. In the book you’ll learn whether simple things such as reading to your partner can build deep intimacy, and whether date nights, compliments and laughter can truly keep love alive. You’ll also learn about ‘pet names’ and public displays of affection, and whether they spark romance. This book is scholarly, humorous and wise; above all, it gives superb advice. Indeed, after reading The Normal Bar, you’ll have no excuse if your partnership isn’t a dream come true.”--Helen Fisher, Professor of Anthropology at Rutgers University and author of Why We Love: The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love "I'm obsessed with this page-turner of a book! After nineteen years of marriage, I faced divorce and entering the dating world with a whole lot of questions about what was and was not normal. Not only did this book answer everything I'd ever wondered about relationships and what people really want, but it restored my faith in the essential sweetness of humankind. Hot damn!"--Linda Sivertsen, award-winning author of Generation Green and co-author of the bestselling Your Big Beautiful Book Plan
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About the Author
CHRISANNA NORTHRUP created The Normal Bar project and is the CEO of YOU Got Challenged! Inc., a customized online program that motivates people to change their normal to a healthier one. PEPPER SCHWARTZ received her Ph.D. in sociology from Yale University, is a Professor of Sociology at the University of Washington, and is the author of 16 books. JAMES WITTE, a Harvard Ph.D., is the Professor of Sociology and Director of the Center for Social Science Research at George Mason University.
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Product details
Paperback: 304 pages
Publisher: Harmony (January 7, 2014)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 9780307951649
ISBN-13: 978-0307951649
ASIN: 0307951642
Product Dimensions:
5.2 x 0.8 x 8 inches
Shipping Weight: 8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
3.9 out of 5 stars
119 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#113,987 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
As if being compared to "normal" people wasn't awkward enough, the authors routinely like to remind the reader that their data is completely unscientific (mostly from online polls via Readers' Digest), and their spurious conclusions are almost always prefaced with "this could mean" or "it's possible that".I loved Ms Northrup's previous works, so this was a pretty big disappointment. While I think there's a natural human curiosity about whether you're "normal", this will only really tell you how you compare to people who have the time and energy to fill out online polls. And, personally, I'm not convinced those people should be the Normal Bar.
Just a bunch of statistics. Once in a while a story to illustrate one of the many normal and below normal findings as well as suggestions on how to become normal if your couple is in the below normal range. A forgettable book from which I could not quote you more than one statistic and it is this, harped over and over and over: most happily married couples, irrelevant of the longevity of their marriage, are having sex 3-4 times a week. Oh come on! I have many happily long-married friends, and this is quite an exaggeration. But that is what this book boils down to-- a benchmark against which you can measure if you're getting it enough and if not, why not. Yawn.
Why is the divorce rate so high? Why can't some of us find or stay happy?This book compiles survey responses from happy people - just to see what their habits, values, and opinions were.Of course this information isn't groundbreaking, therapists & counselors have known about all this information, and you might consider most of this common knowledge.But what I like about this book is that this information was compiled by survey and follow ups [primarily] from someone who is not a marriage counselor. It asks what do happy people want? (happy, stable relationships). And how does one achieve that - what is most important in maintaining a happy/stable relationship? (communication= #1)Everyone on this earth has 'issues'. Many folks have troubled pasts, are from broken families. For those that have not developed healthy, 'normal'; relationship skills, this is an eye opener. Presented in almost slideshow presentation style, with bullets, lots of charts & diagrams. Makes a big visual impact and summarizes information that easily digestible.
I haven't finished this book but after my husband and I had exhausted counselors a couple of times....got frustrated and almost ready to cash it in when I heard review on CBS This Morning from this author and thought I'd order it. It is easy/fun reading and very informative....and logical methods that others have rated and shows you a positive way to figure it out on your own if you follow the advise.I hope to finish it this weekend and put the ideas of this book into practice. I sure hope this works....as I was reading it I was saying "yeah....that's me and that's why I've been so frustrated". Easily relatable to my issues anyway, perhaps it is common to manyand that's why it was so reinforcing!
My Book Club chose this book. Not reading the reviews ahead, I thought the book was just about the interesting findings from the surveys, and was pleasantly surprised that it offered tools for me to use in my own relationship. I could relate and even see similar problems in my own relationship from the case studies presented that I was intrigued to see if the tool (High Fives) used to help the couple(s) in the book would help us. So far, it has brought more insight and clarified misunderstandings my husband and I have had over our 10 year marriage. The book helped keep our conversations open-minded and less defensive, and has brought us closer together as a result. This is cheaper than and as good as our couples therapist was! I would highly recommend it!
Chrisanna Northrup hit one out of the ballpark with The Normal Bar and I read A LOT of books! Personally I feel like I know more about what males and females truly want and desire in a relationship. Rekindling the romance isn't about giving one another material gifts. It is about the little things that count...the spontaneity...the surprise of doing something special for your loved one! I look forward to adjusting the bar in my intimate relationship with a man as well as in other relationships with my young children, my parents, friends, etc. Every one of us desires intimacy of some sort and it is up to us to work hard to learn what our loved ones need want and desire in this life. Thank you Chrisanna! I am passing this book on to my own family & friends and recommend anyone "stuck in a rut" in their current relationship to read this. It will open your eyes to brand new possibilities!
As a psychologist, this book is based on data that would be valuable to analyse.It would be prudent to be mindful of two things though; that normal does not mean best, and more importantly that correlation does not imply causation.A happy marriage can lead to more sex rather than the other way around.
The Normal Bar: The Surprising Secrets of Happy Couples and What They Reveal About Creating a New Normal in Your RelationshipThis is a MUST READ book. I could not put it down. I read and reread it, then I bought 10 copies for family and friends. It is nice to know what to do RIGHT in your relationship. The normal bar tells us what to do to be happy and keep love and romance from growing stale.This book is unique, it is not just about sex-it is about loving, touching, holding, talking and having fun. I love reading something as inspiring and positive as Dr. Pepper's & Ms. Northrup's guide to happy relationships. Buy this book-you will learn something you can use to make your relationship better than ever!
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